It's an honor

Honor: Letting someone know you see how valuable they really are.

I love that. Not "making someone feel special"--as if they aren't special, they just get to feel like they are. Not "treating someone like they are important"--as though I am just giving them a glimpse of what it is like to be oh-so-important me. No, this is about the intrinsic value of the one being honored. They are valuable. I am just acknowledging it. That's honor.

Honor can be a pretty abstract concept, though. How do we show honor, really? How do we teach it to our kids?

We decided to start at home. With one little girl in our family who is entering the tween years (and let's be honest, the girl was born for drama), we regularly see the need to encourage humility and kindness to people in our own family. But I like this new spin: letting someone know you see how valuable they really are. "Gracie, your brothers are valuable. Matt is important to me, and I expect you to speak to him in a way that says you know how valuable he is." And we didn't teach just her... "Matt, you need to honor Grace because she is a daughter of God. He loves her because he made her, and you need to treat her in a way that shows God that you love His daughter." (We don't spend much time talking to Joey about abstract concepts, but you get the general idea.) I wish I could say that they have magically started bowing (and curtseying) to each other and treating each other like royalty all of the time, but, well, we all know that's just not the case. But it is sinking in. They are seeing it. The word "honor" is popping up more and more, and not just from us parents.

And then... it got fun. We decided to honor those outside of our house. Now in the interest of full disclosure, this didn't start as a way to demonstrate the virtue of the month--it was just something I wanted to do with the kids for the day. But it worked out great, so I am going to share it here. We had a little bit of money set aside to donate somewhere, but we hadn't decided where. Should it go to that marriage ministry we really like? Overseas to help missionaries? To a local foster care organization? A little to everything? (How many times can you divide up a small donation before it becomes completely useless?) In the meantime, my kids had a school "holiday" coming up, and I decided to make it about something more than just sleeping in and hanging out.

"Hey, kiddos. Next Friday we are going to spend our day doing good stuff. And you get to help pick what we do." And we started making a list. Some of the stuff cost money, some just took a little time. Our list ranged from visiting a sick family member to buying toys for kids who don't have any, and everything in between. For several days we would jot down ideas, and then on Thursday (because a few of the ideas involved some advance preparation) we narrowed it down. I let each of the big kids pick their top 3 choices--and because they both had the exact same top 3, I let them each pick one more--and then we got to work. First we baked, because they wanted to take cupcakes to some of our community helpers (firemen and police officers). Then I made some phone calls, because a few of the things involved some administration.

On Friday morning we got up, finished decorating cupcakes, and set out to make a difference. It was great. The kids had an absolute blast and did a great job of honoring others all day. I loved watching them hand a $5 gift card to strangers and telling them to have a great day. We went to the dollar store and gleefully filled the cart with coloring books and crayons and toys and all sorts of stuff--and NOT ONCE did they ask for anything or say, "Oh, Mommy, I wish I could have this!" They whispered excitedly as we picked a family in the restaurant whose lunch we were going to buy. We visited my aunt who is very sick with cancer, and Matt--my 6-year-old--prayed for her before we left.

It.was.fantastic.

We probably didn't change anyone's life, but we definitely made someone's day. And that was perfect. Every time someone smiled at my kids, I could just feel them thinking, "They think I'm valuable." That's exactly what we set out to do.

And now my kids get it. Honor is not some far-off, hard-to-grasp idea. Honor is saying thanks to someone for their hard work. Honor is giving a friend a cupcake and a hug. Honor is buying a coloring book and crayons for a child you might never meet, but who just needs a bright spot in a tough hospital stay. Honor is saying, "Can I pray for you?"--and then doing it right then.

How do we teach our kids what honor is? We practice it. We teach them that they are valuable, that their siblings are valuable, and that the people around them are valuable.

And here's the best part: honoring someone doesn't just help them. Every time we walked away from honoring someone, my kids would absolutely gleam with joy and say, "That was awesome!" I think they enjoyed it every bit as the people we came in contact with--and so did I.

At the risk of sounding a little cheesy... It was an honor.

So go out and honor someone today. Take your kids along. It doesn't have to be big, and it doesn't have to be an all-day event. Share some ideas about how you can honor someone else--or how someone has honored you. And later this week I will share with you some of the ideas we used, and my tips for encouraging your kids to honor others.

Throw yourself a party!

This morning I woke up ready to throw a party! Don't get too excited, it was a pity party.

Yesterday was kind of a crummy day. Nothing big, just life--you know, kids who were either under the weather or too tired from a big weekend (or a little of both), a few things that didn't go according to plan, a squabble (yes, I said "squabble") with my hubby. And to top it off, Joey went to bed with a barky cough, so I slept lightly all night, wondering if we were going to need a trip to the ER. (That poor kid gets croup so easily.)

And at first, this morning seemed to just pick up where yesterday left off. I was ready to throw in the towel before my big kids even got on the bus. Let's just wave the white flag and call it a day.

But I didn't. I cancelled the pity party and decided to reclaim my Monday.

I started by reading 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, one of my favorite passages:
"Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

One thing I know for sure: today I was feeling weak. What better time to hand it over to God and let His strength be mine. "When I am weak, then I am strong."

Next, I went to the gym. I almost didn't go. Even at the intersection where I could turn one way to the gym and the other to Giant Eagle, I wavered. But I made it there--and God blessed me with a friendly face to brighten my morning. (Thanks, Deb!) I'm not saying it was the greatest workout I've ever done, but it was good to get my heart pumping and my body moving.

And on the way home, I listened to some great music with Joey. If you were at the brunch last spring, you heard me talk about a group called Go Fish. They make great music for kids that doesn't drive parents crazy--in fact, it's pretty darn catchy. How can you listen to songs like this and NOT be in a good mood?

 

 

Oh, and one last thing. I did eventually stop by Giant Eagle, and I picked up a small treat for my hubby and dropped it off at his office on the way home. I loved being able to add a little happiness to his day, and doing something nice for others is a great way to perk up your day, too!

 

So now Joey and I are home. And I've cancelled the pity party. It's time for a dance party instead! I am taking Monday back!

 

I don't know about you, but I have wrestled enough with depression and crazy emotions to know that I need some tools at my disposal to help on rough days. I've shared a few of them here--Scripture, exercise, upbeat music, doing something nice for someone else. There are more, but these are a great start.

 

What does your toolbox look like? What things help you to turn your day around when it's just not headed in the right direction?

Pumpkin Spice & Everything Nice

Here is a yummy twist on a classic. Add a little extra cinnamon and nutmeg, and dates to create a new fall favorite!

INGREDIENTS

• 3½ cups rolled oats (if you want bars use steel cut oats so it will stick together better)
• 1 cup raw sliced almonds
• 1 cup raw cashew pieces (or walnuts or pecans)
• 1 cup unsweetened shredded coconut (I could only find unsweetened at Earth Fare, which is similar to Whole Foods)
• ½ cup raw sunflower seeds
• ½ cup raw pumpkin seeds
• 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• 1½ teaspoons ground ginger
• ½ teaspoon grated or ground nutmeg
• 6 tablespoons unsalted butter
• ½ cup honey
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• ½ teaspoon salt
• Also need – parchment paper

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Preheat the oven to 250 degrees. Cover a rectangular baking sheet with parchment paper.
2. Mix the dry oats, almonds, cashews, coconut, seeds and spices together in a large mixing bowl.
3. Heat the butter and honey together in a small saucepan over low heat. Once the butter melts stir in the vanilla and salt.
4. Pour the hot liquids over the dry ingredients and stir together with a rubber spatula until evenly coated.
5. Spread mixture onto prepared pan in one even layer. Bake for 75 minutes.
6. The granola will become crisp as it cools at which point you can break into pieces (if making bars) or break it up into small chunks by pounding it in a zip lock bag (if making cereal). Store in air tight container at room temperature for up to 2 weeks.

Original recipe from www.100daysofrealfood.com

Consider yourself refreshed

Oh fall, you sweet temptress. Here I am…card in hand…prepared to order a pumpkin spice latte or hot apple cider. I want to close my eyes and picture the leaves changing and then falling. I want to hear wood crackling with fire and my friends laughing as we share s’mores and bundle up in sweaters.  One drink transports me to bright pumpkin patches and moments of thanksgiving. Sweet fall. You really are a tease.

I have a drink for every season, you know. Peppermint mocha in the winter, lemonade in the spring, and frozen mochas in the summer.  There is something about having these refreshments that feels like a special treat.  They make me think of traditions and remind of some of my favorite memories alongside those that I love. Or quiet moments by myself. Oh my goodness, there were actually quiet moments. By. My. Self.

Time Out felt like a pumpkin spice latte with double whip to my soul yesterday. I love being in the room with you ladies. I love seeing familiar faces mixed in with the new. Just like a warm drink on a cool day, it warmed me up to see Katy’s gift as a speaker tempered by her humility as a believer. We’ve got her all year, ladies! And just as lemonade cools me down with its perfect blend of tart and sweet, our discussion forced me to seek God’s picture of courage for my life.

We are all in different seasons of life and in need of “refreshments” that renew our spirits. I’m reminded of John 4, where Jesus encounters the Samaritan woman at the well. He offered her living water that would cause her to never thirst again. Never mind that He was revealing His personhood to a woman. Look past the hatred between Jews and Samaritans at that time. Ladies. She was carrying a heavy jug IN THE DESERT and this man offered her what sounded like a solution to this monotonous task. He was describing the very first refrigerator that also dispenses filtered water. Mind blown.

So as we come together and consider various virtues, life challenges, and areas that we need encouragement, let us always remember the true source of refreshment to our souls. Like a deer pants for water (Psalm 42:1), let us fill our time with growing in our relationships with Christ. Let us be moved by the Holy Spirit. And let us seek to glorify God in the time that we have.  No yummy drink…no matter the weather…compares to the Living Water. And we have a lifetime supply.

Jen

Be Strong and Courageous

I don't know about you, but I had a GREAT time with you all yesterday. What a fun and relaxing and special morning. Thanks for being there.

I wanted to share a few things with you as a follow-up to yesterday's meeting. First, thanks for bearing with me in the video debacle. If you're not familiar with Katie Davis, here is the video that I wanted to show...

Her blog, Kisses from Katie, can give you more details, as well as her book with the same title. As I said yesterday, she stands out to me as the epitome of courage. And as easy as it is for us to look at her and say, "I couldn't do that," I think it's important to remember this: "I have learned that I will not change the world. Jesus will do that. I can, however, change the world for one person... And if one person sees the love of Christ in me, it is worth every minute. In fact, it is worth spending my life for." (Katie Davis)

Also, we ran out of time for discussion, but I wanted to include the questions here for you to review. Ponder them, journal about them, use them to start discussions with your families.

1.       Name someone in your life that you consider to be courageous. How does his/her example encourage you to step out and be courageous?

2.       Tell about a time when you had a chance to DO something courageous but didn’t. What were the consequences? What do you think might have happened if you had done the courageous thing?

3.       Tell about a time when you had a chance to BE courageous (have an attitude of trust) in a hard circumstance. Were you able to do it, or did your fears and frustrations take control?

4.       In what areas of your life do “earthly fears” keep you from saying “yes” to God? 

And in case you don't have the placemat for this month, here is the list of lessons/Bible passages that the kids will be covering this month:

1.       Joseph – “I can be brave because I know God is with me.”
Genesis 30, 37, 39-46

2.       Moses – “I can be brave even when I don’t feel ready.”
Exodus 3:1-4:17; Exodus 7-12

3.       Moses & the Red Sea – “I can be brave even when things seem impossible.”
Exodus 14

4.       Spying on Canaan – “I can be brave even when others aren’t.”
Numbers 13 & 14

5.       Joshua and the Battle of Jericho – “I can be brave because I know God keeps his promises.”
Joshua 6

Thanks for sharing your morning with us. I can't wait to see you again next time. In the meantime, be strong and courageous. ;-)

Consider Time Out

I don't know about you, but sometimes as a mom, I have to just walk away and get my head together. A few years ago, I was in the middle of just such a day. I was tired and pregnant and cranky, and my oh-so-sweet kids, then 4 and 2, were about to push me over the edge. I put the two-year-old in his crib and told my daughter, "You need to play in your room for a few minutes. I'm going into my room and closing the door. I need you to just give me some time."

And she looked at me with those sweet, not-so-innocent eyes and said, "Are you going to go pray about your attitude?"

It took me a full two seconds before I burst into laughter. I thought I had kept myself together in front of the kids, that I was going to my room to keep my ugliness to myself, but she had seen it. I needed to go pray about my attitude.

I needed a time out.

My kids are now 8, 6, and 3. To say that I love them very much is like saying that the ocean is kinda big. We are a fantastic family, and I thank God for them every day. But sometimes I still need a time out. I need a chance to catch my breath, to step back from the day-to-day and see the big picture. I need to be refreshed and encouraged.

Next week, Time Out (for moms) at The Chapel in Akron is starting up, and that is exactly what we are providing for you. A time out. A breath of fresh air. A community of moms. Encouragement and growth and friendship. And here's how we'll do it...

Meetings
From September to May, we'll be meeting 2-3 times per month (the 2nd, 4th, and 5th Tuesdays of each month, 9:30-11:30). During these meetings, free childcare is provided, so moms can grab a cup of coffee and relax. We will have yummy snacks and lots of time to chat and connect with each other.

But that's not all! We also will provide encouragement through teaching. Approximately once a month, I will be teaching on a virtue (following the Orange Parenting virtue plan) like courage or wisdom or joy--things that we as moms want to develop in ourselves and our children.

Our other meetings will bring in a variety of speakers to deal with topics that hit home for us as moms--things like simple living, marriage, depression, and so many more. The speakers are great, the topics are relevant, and have I mentioned the yummy snacks? How could you miss out on this?

And on the months that have 5 Tuesdays, we will have a special meeting, called "Moms Helping Moms." This will be our chance to do some outreach, to grow through serving each other. I am excited to see what it brings!

Want to see our complete schedule? We have a link for that!



Blog
Yep, this is it! Our new blog! We have lots of plans and visions for this little corner of the blogosphere. I'll be here to provide some tips and resources related to the virtue of the month. We'll share stories from our moms. We'll have recipes and craft ideas and all sorts of fun stuff. We want this to be a resource for you. And on the practical side, we'll be sure to update the blog with any important announcements for Time Out as well.



Community
"It takes a village to raise a baby." We aren't meant to live in isolation--come join our village! Time Out offers a place where you can say, "How on earth did you live through potty training?" or "Check out this cute thing my baby just did!" or "I'm going to lose my mind if my child throws a tantrum ONE MORE TIME!" We are in the trenches together, sharing ideas, supporting each other, growing together. We want to offer a place of respite and relationships, not just on Tuesday mornings, but whenever you need a friend. We want to see friendships grow--with phone calls and texts and play dates and maybe even (Can you imagine?) mommy-only coffee dates! We want to be a community, not just a group with meetings.



I don't know about you, but I think this is all sounding pretty darn fantastic. And you know what? It all starts this Tuesday, September 10 at The Chapel in Akron. Don't miss it--join us for a little Time Out.