It's an honor

Honor: Letting someone know you see how valuable they really are.

I love that. Not "making someone feel special"--as if they aren't special, they just get to feel like they are. Not "treating someone like they are important"--as though I am just giving them a glimpse of what it is like to be oh-so-important me. No, this is about the intrinsic value of the one being honored. They are valuable. I am just acknowledging it. That's honor.

Honor can be a pretty abstract concept, though. How do we show honor, really? How do we teach it to our kids?

We decided to start at home. With one little girl in our family who is entering the tween years (and let's be honest, the girl was born for drama), we regularly see the need to encourage humility and kindness to people in our own family. But I like this new spin: letting someone know you see how valuable they really are. "Gracie, your brothers are valuable. Matt is important to me, and I expect you to speak to him in a way that says you know how valuable he is." And we didn't teach just her... "Matt, you need to honor Grace because she is a daughter of God. He loves her because he made her, and you need to treat her in a way that shows God that you love His daughter." (We don't spend much time talking to Joey about abstract concepts, but you get the general idea.) I wish I could say that they have magically started bowing (and curtseying) to each other and treating each other like royalty all of the time, but, well, we all know that's just not the case. But it is sinking in. They are seeing it. The word "honor" is popping up more and more, and not just from us parents.

And then... it got fun. We decided to honor those outside of our house. Now in the interest of full disclosure, this didn't start as a way to demonstrate the virtue of the month--it was just something I wanted to do with the kids for the day. But it worked out great, so I am going to share it here. We had a little bit of money set aside to donate somewhere, but we hadn't decided where. Should it go to that marriage ministry we really like? Overseas to help missionaries? To a local foster care organization? A little to everything? (How many times can you divide up a small donation before it becomes completely useless?) In the meantime, my kids had a school "holiday" coming up, and I decided to make it about something more than just sleeping in and hanging out.

"Hey, kiddos. Next Friday we are going to spend our day doing good stuff. And you get to help pick what we do." And we started making a list. Some of the stuff cost money, some just took a little time. Our list ranged from visiting a sick family member to buying toys for kids who don't have any, and everything in between. For several days we would jot down ideas, and then on Thursday (because a few of the ideas involved some advance preparation) we narrowed it down. I let each of the big kids pick their top 3 choices--and because they both had the exact same top 3, I let them each pick one more--and then we got to work. First we baked, because they wanted to take cupcakes to some of our community helpers (firemen and police officers). Then I made some phone calls, because a few of the things involved some administration.

On Friday morning we got up, finished decorating cupcakes, and set out to make a difference. It was great. The kids had an absolute blast and did a great job of honoring others all day. I loved watching them hand a $5 gift card to strangers and telling them to have a great day. We went to the dollar store and gleefully filled the cart with coloring books and crayons and toys and all sorts of stuff--and NOT ONCE did they ask for anything or say, "Oh, Mommy, I wish I could have this!" They whispered excitedly as we picked a family in the restaurant whose lunch we were going to buy. We visited my aunt who is very sick with cancer, and Matt--my 6-year-old--prayed for her before we left.

It.was.fantastic.

We probably didn't change anyone's life, but we definitely made someone's day. And that was perfect. Every time someone smiled at my kids, I could just feel them thinking, "They think I'm valuable." That's exactly what we set out to do.

And now my kids get it. Honor is not some far-off, hard-to-grasp idea. Honor is saying thanks to someone for their hard work. Honor is giving a friend a cupcake and a hug. Honor is buying a coloring book and crayons for a child you might never meet, but who just needs a bright spot in a tough hospital stay. Honor is saying, "Can I pray for you?"--and then doing it right then.

How do we teach our kids what honor is? We practice it. We teach them that they are valuable, that their siblings are valuable, and that the people around them are valuable.

And here's the best part: honoring someone doesn't just help them. Every time we walked away from honoring someone, my kids would absolutely gleam with joy and say, "That was awesome!" I think they enjoyed it every bit as the people we came in contact with--and so did I.

At the risk of sounding a little cheesy... It was an honor.

So go out and honor someone today. Take your kids along. It doesn't have to be big, and it doesn't have to be an all-day event. Share some ideas about how you can honor someone else--or how someone has honored you. And later this week I will share with you some of the ideas we used, and my tips for encouraging your kids to honor others.